


Life on Mars

by mars_morpheus



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Gotham (TV)
Genre: AKA He Knows It's Fiction, And Possibly... More, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Dimension Travel, Enemies to Friends, Hyper-Sane Joker, Joker (DCU) Has Issues, Multi, Sort Of, accidentally
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26225485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mars_morpheus/pseuds/mars_morpheus
Summary: When Batman stops another robbery courtesy of the Joker, he expects to win and send the clown back to Arkham.He does not expect to be thrust into another world entirely - one that makes him question his own sanity.Inspired by "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie (specifically the version sung by Sophia Anne Caruso in Lazarus: the Musical)
Relationships: Batjokes - Relationship, Batman & Joker, Joker (DCU) & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Life on Mars

His cape fluttered behind him, making more noise than any of the rest of him as he jumped. His body had been trained to be silent; fabric couldn't learn the same lessons. Of course, it wasn't a necessary addition to the uniform. But a bat needed wings, and so the Batman needed his cape. It was part of the symbol.

He hit the next roof over and rolled, preserving his momentum for the next leap. It was dark out, or at least as dark as it got in the middle of Gotham City - light pollution (and regular pollution) negated the possibility of ever seeing any stars without driving past the city limits. Perhaps the light would be reassuring if it wasn't so sickly. Perhaps not: he'd still know the sorts of things that lurked in Gotham's alleys and shadows. Those were the things he was out looking for. Crime saturated the very essence of the city. It was the spine that held it, crooked, up as if to spite the very sky; it was the blood that made veins of its streets. It was the thing the Batman stood as an antidote to.

Sirens sounded from somewhere to his right and he changed course. At first, it had felt like flying, leaping and gliding high over the city, but now, more and more, he felt sure that someday he would inevitably fall. Not until he couldn't lift off in the first place. He wasn't a man. He was more. He found himself looking over the Gotham National Bank (unsurprisingly). The place got robbed exponentially more often than he got a full night's sleep. He growled and descended to its roof.

Batman broke the lock on the roof access door and slipped inside. His eyes didn't need to adjust to the pitch-darkness inside, as his mask's lenses were equipped with night vision. Either way, the banging and shouting from the lower floors told him where he needed to go.

The main floor of the bank was lit only by the red-and-blue flashing lights coming from the police cars parked outside. He didn't know why they weren't entering the bank. Most likely it was a mixture of incompetence and complacency: Gotham was too used to Batman taking care of its problems. A lookout stood holding a gun near the entrance. Batman took him out easily with an elbow to the throat and a shove sending his forehead crashing into the teller's counter. He was wearing a cheap plastic clown mask.

This was the Joker's work.

Moving quickly and quietly, Batman dispatched four more inattentive thugs. None of them managed to land a hit. The real challenge would be in getting to the ones inside the vault where the money was kept. As he approached it, he saw that it was lit. That wouldn't do. He looked around for a means of turning it off. There - on the wall just outside the vault. A metal switch. He darted across the open doorway and flipped it; the lights inside went out. He heard confused exclamations coming from Joker's people.

He went into a tight roll as he entered the vault, keeping low so as to maintain the element of surprise. A leg swept through one man's ankles sent him down, gun firing wildly. Batman jumped up and braced himself against the ceiling, waiting for just a second before landing on another man's shoulders and putting him out of commission. The third thug was a little more proactive; his weight landed on Batman's back, and his arm was around his throat. Batman threw him off and smashed his head into the wall. He cracked his shoulders and took a breath.

Now, to find the Joker. He returned to the roof of the bank and looked around. A figure stood silhouetted against the cloudy night sky, atop the next building. There he was. Batman shot a grappling hook at the taller roof - the lunatic was running for the roof access by the time he got there, but he was faster. He tackled him.

"Jeez, Batsy, what's the big idea?" Joker's voice was muffled underneath Batman.

He hauled the smaller man to his feet, held him up by the collar of his purple coat. "What do you want with the bank, Joker?"

Joker shrugged, flicking green hair out of his face. There was a little red lipstick smudged on his teeth as he grinned. "I mean, money, unless they keep a variety of other stuff in there."

He growled. That should've been obvious, on second thought.

"What, muscles squeezing your big ol' detective brain?" Joker winked, then slipped out of his coat and skipped backward across the roof.

Batman stalked forward, casting the coat aside. "Give it up, Joker. You know where this is going."

His skinny body bent over as he laughed. "Oh, c'mon, _of course_ I know! It's always the same, our little dances. Build-up, climax, back to Arkham and roll the credits." He giggled. "Like a cheesy jail-themed sex tape, huh?"

"No." It wasn't always the same. Batman just always won in the end.

"Not my fault you don't see it."

Batman swung a punch at Joker's head; his green hair followed his head like a contrail as he ducked out of the way. They were approaching the far edge. "Surrender now and I won't have to hurt you."

_"Please_ , Bats, we both know you wouldn't want that!" He stepped back. "You get off on beating the bad-guy outta me. C'mon, first step to improving's admitting you have a problem!"

"I'm not like you. I'm protecting this city." He'd learned that this kind of pointed, on-and-on talking was one of Joker's weapons.

Joker laughed again. "Batsy, Batsy, Batsy. If you just wanted to help the city, you would've become a cop or something. You're just another wackjob wandering around in a costume."

A kick to Joker's ribs just missed as he jumped back, almost touching the guard wall at the very edge of the roof.

"So serious! Eh," he mused, shrugging. "I guess opposites do attract."

He couldn't back away any further. Batman swung another hit at his jaw. Joker jumped backward, ankles catching on the guard wall. He hadn't realised it was there.

There was a look of shock on his face as he fell.

Batman acted without fully considering it. He leaped off the edge after him, grabbing onto the Joker with one arm around his torso. His other hand pointed up to fire a grappling hook at the roof.

It didn't catch.

There was nothing to do but brace for the landing now.

His arm was still holding on tight to the Joker, and he felt skinny arms wrapping around him as the wind hurtled past them. Here was where they both died.

Batman closed his eyes, waiting for the deadly impact.

It never came.


End file.
